Affirmations...or self-delusions?

There are effective ways to use affirmations, and not so effective ways to use them. Louise Hay, author of "I Can Do It!" says in her short book of affirmations: "Some people say that 'affirmations don't work' (which is an affirmation in itself), when what they mean is that they don't know how to us them correctly. They may say, 'my prosperity is growing,' but then think, Oh, this is stupid, I know it won't work. Which affirmation do you think will win out? The negative one, of course, because it's part of a long-standing, habitual way of looking at life."

In fact, saying our affirmations at times like these feels more like participating in grand self-delusion than inspired self-improvement. We might even ask, 'how can lying to myself get me where I want to go?'

In the past I have answered that concern by using my affirmation sessions as imagination sessions. I think that maybe if I pretend hard enough that it's true, I'll get over this feeling that I'm repeating lies to myself.

Even during the pretense, however, we still have that feeling deep down that says, 'this is so not true!' After all, if it were true, why would we be focusing on the affirmation anyway?

That deep down feeling of doubt is counterproductive to the changes affirmations can instigate in our lives. Although there is a place for being able to imagine in great detail the life we are trying to create, affirmations are most effective when we know on some level that we are affirming truth.

We must remove the wall of disbelief deep inside ourselves by looking for the truth within the affirmation. Once the wall is down, the power of the affirmation is free to work without restraint in our lives. The truth that we have affirmed begins to become more and more true in our lives.

As you look for the truth within your affirmation, remember that so much of how we perceive our reality is relative. Everything we see in our lives is completely dependent upon what we are choosing to focus on.

Let's say, for example that you are trying to create more income in your life. You decide to start first with visualizing and affirming a raise at work. The affirmation you choose to use is one from Lousie Hay's book: "Wherever I may work, I am deeply appreciated and well compensated."

As soon as you say this affirmation, you think about how ridiculously untrue it is. Your boss hired you 2 years ago with a written promise of a 6% increase each year for the next 2 years and an implied promise of much more. He's done nothing. You've talked to him several times already and he continually puts you off.

You think about your peers (five of them, to be exact!) who've had increases, in spite of the company wide freeze on increases. It's injury added to insult! Not only are you not well compensated, but clearly you aren't appreciated!

At this point most people would try to imagine a different world down at work where their boss is appreciative and keeps his promises.

The problem with that approach is, again, the powerful feeling of disbelief being repressed deep inside.

Instead, look for any grain of truth that supports the affirmation and focus your energy on that. When we do this, the walls come down and we find ourselves fully invested in the affirmation. All of our energy is then able to flow into creating more of what we are affirming.

When you say the affirmation, think of the cook in the cafeteria who thanked you the other day for the new materials you were able to acquire for them. Think of the woman you manage who you were able to give time off to when her daughter was sick. She appreciated you!

The law of relativity comes in handy when you are saying the phrase, 'well compensated'. I'm sure without much effort, you will be able to think of situations which, in comparison, show you to be 'well compensated'.

Anything you can do to make the affirmation feel more true to you will help. Think of how much you earned at your last job. Perhaps in comparison to that, you are well compensated now.

This is not the time to focus on your peers who earn more than you. It's not the time to think about how far away you are from where you wanted to be at this point in your career.

Use the law of relativity to help you in your cause, not hurt you. This frees up your energy for creating. It removes your payoff for being a victim. It puts all your focus on where you are going, instead of where you've been.

Another example might be in your relationships. Let's say you use another of Louise Hay's affirmations: "I am in a joyous, intimate relationship with a person who truly loves me."

It's so easy at this point to think of all the ways your relationships don't meet this criteria.
Let go of your need to feel sorry for yourself or to find what's wrong. Start looking for the little tiny ways this is true in your life.

What we look for, we find. If you had a flicker of happiness in your relationship two weeks ago when you saw your spouse wrestling with your puppy, focus on that.

When we say our affirmation, if we will focus on some aspect of it that is true now the walls of disbelief come down and we are able to channel our energy, to connect with the power of affirmations, to begin to create something we really want in our life.