On Destructive Relationships

This post is in response to a comment on the post, "Why Do I Need This?" The reader expressed a desire to address 'relationships that continue to be destructive after you've done all that you can do.'

According to law of attraction principles, if you have a relationship like this, there are two possible reasons. The first possible reason is that it is in your best good, it is in the other person's best good, or it is in both of your best good for the relationship to be in your life. If you are always seeking to live God's will, then you are always seeking the things that are in yours and your fellow beings' best good.

(Note: the phrase 'in my best good' comes from a very interesting book called "Mutant Message Down Under." I like the way the phrase describes God's will in my life.)

The second possible reason is that you have an unhealthy pattern that you have still not released, in spite of your feeling that you have 'done all that you can do.'

In Your Best Good
Through prayer and introspection, you can discover which of the two reasons is true for you at this point in your life and with this particular individual. If the reason is the first, then with the Savior's power, this burden can become light in your life. You can tune in to what your role should be and the purposes behind where you are at.

Many people say that we shouldn't ask 'why'. But I find my best answers and my most sacred revelation when I ask 'why' in a humble and submissive manner. Those answers can help insulate us somewhat from the potential for harm these destructive relationships can have in our lives.

Use the principles of the law of attraction to attract best case scenerios with this person. Watch for future postings on 'creating space' for people in our lives. This is a powerful principle.

Release the Pattern that Created This
If, through prayer and introspection you discover that reason number two applies in this case, it's time to 'release the pattern that created this in your life.' This is a phrase from Louise Hay that I love. It is powerful and has a broad scope. Many times we don't know the pattern that created this, and so simply affirming, "I release the pattern that created this in my life" is a good place to start. We'll be led to solutions.

Sometimes the thought of no longer having this person in our life is frightening. Especially if this person is a spouse or one of our children. But have faith! Remember that when we are living according to true principles, things work out for our best good. Anything is possible. I've mentioned before the mantra I love from Mark Fournier, "There is an infinate number of possible outcomes. I am not attached."

In our small minds, we only see a few possible outcomes, so we try to force the ones we think best. Yes, we are creators, but only with God's power given to us. As we flow into the stream of His will for our best good, we will be amazed at the possibilities we had never considered. It's so profoundly true and important to remember, "[His] thoughts are not [our] thoughts, neither are [our] ways [His] ways" (Isaiah 55:8)

Thus, submitting our will to His unleashes our greatest potential to create. Fighting against His will blocks the flow of our creation as we try to force things, inevitably attempting to interfere with God's greatest gift, agency. As soon as we are attempting to interfere with another's agency, the creative process stops. There is no power there, only an illusion of power.

For healing and/or releasing destructive relationships, my favorite author is Louise Hay. Carol Tuttle also has some good thoughts on this topic.