Determining God's Will in My Life-Part 2

This has been a difficult post for me to compose. There are so many interesting angles to consider and it is such a personal topic-I hope these posts spark some discussion and that I can learn where others agree and disagree.

In the end my biggest complaint is that I can't seem to organize my thoughts. It doesn't fit in a logical bulleted list, if you will. So forgive me if I meander, but I will share my thoughts on discerning God's will in our lives. It might take me a few posts, I don't know...we'll see where it leads...

A Christian's Cop-Out

Law of attraction teachers do not usually focus very much on discerning and living God’s will. The focus usually tends to be more about creating the life you want and having everything you desire. But for those of us who love and trust God, we want to do His will so much more than we want to follow our own wants and passions.

The danger for those so committed to His will comes if we immobilize ourselves and stop actively creating our lives as we passively wait for ‘His will to be done.’ Or we might accept that everything that comes our way is His will, without questioning and thinking for ourselves.

In his October 2006 conference address, Elder David A. Bednar said,

As sons and daughters of our Heavenly Father, we have been blessed with the gift of moral agency, the capacity for independent action and choice. Endowed with agency, you and I are agents, and we primarily are to act and not just be acted upon.

It is our duty, then to learn His will (a process in and of itself,) and then to create in our lives what He wills for us. This is where the greatest power to create lies: when we are in alignment with His will, and working to create it in our lives.

In attempting to discern God’s will in our lives, the first mistake most of us make throughout this process is assuming too much. And too much of what we assume about what God desires for us is negative.

Sometimes we even push away the good He wants to bless us with in a mixed up attempt to live His will. An interesting book on this topic is, “The Millionaire from Nazareth”. This book is a thought provoking treatise on the biases many Christians have about Jesus Christ and money.

We must be careful that our supposed ‘accepting of His will’ is not just a cop out, freeing us from the accountability of creating good in our lives. (This topic is addressed in my post: "Is this God's will or am I sabotaging?")

As a general rule I believe it is God’s will that we have health, wealth, and fulfilling relationships. When we have those things we are better able to serve our fellow beings. This is important to note because so many of us waste so much time wondering if God really wants good things for us. Study Matthew 7:7-12 if you aren’t sure you believe that.

Is this God's will, or am I sabotaging?

We have discussed in previous posts the importance of asking with real intent the question, "Why do I need this in my life?" when we are working on changing our present results. Another angle to consider when searching for the answer to this question is the question, "Is this God's will, or am I sabotaging his will?"

How Can I Know?
I have noticed that people with a deep desire to do God's will are sometimes a little too quick to assume that the garbage in their life is His will for them. This idea is most likely based in the truth that trials are an intentional part of our existence. Because we know this is true, we are sometimes too willing to embrace and hold on to negative experiences, perpetuating something that might not necessarily be His will for us any longer.

It is my belief that in most instances, God's will for us is to have good in our life. To have love, health, and prosperity. Many of the challenges that rock our world are there for no other reason than to move us more quickly into the good that He wants for us. At other times those challenges are there because we are sabotaging His will for us, and He allows us to do this. A third possibility is that we are to experience a challenge for most or all of our existence in order to progress in the way that is best suited to us.

It is imperative that we discover which of these scenarios is responsible for what is happening in our life. With this understanding, we can make better choices for moving through the challenge.

It takes honest and prayerful meditation to discover whether we are living God's will or sabotaging it. It is all too easy to look at our present results and assume that if God meant for them to be different, they would be. If God meant for me to have financial independence, I'd have been born with it. If He meant for me to have love, I'd have it. If He meant me to be well, I wouldn't be sick. Haven't I prayed for help? This must be His will for my life.

It is only through prayer, personal revelation and deeply honest introspection that we can come to the conclusion that we are meant to remain in a current challenge. Without that sacred witness, we must assume that what He wants is for us to learn from and move through the current lack in our life.

It takes courage to look deeply enough to discover the truth about sabotaging. Sabotaging is usually done out of fear-an attempt to protect ourselves. You may have to ponder what it is you are afraid of. Often when we use 'It's God's will' as an excuse, we are using it as a cop out from exercising faith.

If it isn't God's will that we remain in a current challenge, that of course means we will need to exercise faith for change. We may discover fears such as: What if I don't have enough faith? What if He won't help me? What if I fail? Once we honestly assess these fears and concerns we can begin, with God's help, to address and move through them.

Perhaps it feels presumptuous to you to assume that God might want more good for you in your life. As a parent, wouldn't you be pleased if your child fully engaged in a challenge with the purpose of learning what needed to be learned, mastered the skill, and moved on?

Also keep in mind that where much is given much is required. The reason He wants us to prosper is because there is so much work to do. God has work to do and wants us involved, laboring in His vineyard.

From this perspective, this good in our life is a means to an end, not the end itself. If we are stable financially, physically healthy, and existing in fulfilling relationships, how much better are we able to do His work than if we are not? Of course this is what He wants for us.

To Engage or To Release?
Once we have determined whether the challenge we are dealing with is evidence of our own sabotage or God's will for our growth, we will know how to proceed.

If we discover that this challenge is no longer what God wants for us, it's time to 'release that which we no longer need' (Louise Hay, You Can Heal Your Life) and start affirming truth in our lives. We may need to work on issues of deserving. We may need to overcome false beliefs such as 'there isn't enough' or 'it's too hard' or 'it's not safe'.

Realize that if we really believed that what we are striving for was in our best good, we would already have it. We must change those inner beliefs to be in accordance with God's will. We can use visualization techniques, we can work with a counselor. Keep a vision of where you feel God wants your life to be and solutions will open up to you. Be patient, with time you will see progress.

If, however, you feel that this trial is something God has helped place in your life, then it's time to engage. Ponder, pray, explore, examine, study. Think of it as a wave and you are the surfer who's trying to catch it. Ride it as far as it can take you.

Resist berating yourself for where you are at. Be grateful for the opportunity because this is evidence that God feels you are ready for growth and change. Accept the feelings and reactions you have with patience and love. They are coming to the surface because it's time to grow through them.

When you have times of doubt, think back on the time when you felt an understanding for His will in your life. He won't leave you alone through this period of growth. He knows and wants what is for your best good.

Pulling Weeds-Part 3

Visualize Cleaning it Up
Now that you have asked yourself these questions, what do you do with your discoveries? You are going to let go of the fears and false beliefs and fill in the spaces with truth, gratitude, hope, and the healing light of Christ.

This can be done in many ways. You can do it on your own or pay a professional for help. I love the methods of EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) and Cranial Sacral Therapy combined with Guided Imagery. Reflexology or Zoning can also be helpful. Sometimes when we are stuck it's nice to get someone else involved so they can bulldoze away large amounts of garbage.

Most of the time I work on my own, using the techniques these professionals have taught me. Books have been written on these methods, but I will give you some brief ideas of how to start.

EFT
EFT is a method of emotional release with roots in acupressure. As I identify any fears or false beliefs, I first affirm my love and acceptance of myself in spite of these fears, then I release that which I no longer need or want, then I affirm the truth I would like to hold to.

All of this is done verbally while tapping on key pressure points. You can go to emofree.com for all of those points, but a start would be tapping in the center of your chest just below your collarbone. This is a powerful center for emotion, as is the center of you forehead just above and between your eyebrows.

An example: "Even though I am afraid of failure right now, I completely and totally love and accept myself." Then: "I release the need to be afraid of failure". And finally: "I choose to have hope and faith, I choose to succeed."

EFT is a powerful method to use in conjunction with words affirming where we want to go. Make it more powerful by visualizing that which you no longer need leaving your body as you say the words. Also visualize the truths you are affirming adding light and power to your person.

Guided Imagery
Again, books have been written on this powerful healing technique. It is a method well worth your time to research and learn about. This is how I apply it when pulling weeds:

I ask the question, "Where in my body is this negative emotion residing?" My mind is always drawn to some part of my body at that point. It might be my lower leg, my upper back, my chest, my abdomen. I then focus my mind on this area and begin visualizing removing the mass of emotion or energy that is there residing.

You can picture removing this from your body in the best way that works for you. My children have visualized rocket ships flying to space and exploding, and bulldozers coming in and scooping it out. I usually make a pile next to me until it's all out after which I hand it over to God to take care of. Sometimes I get a little stuck, but have never faced anything that prayer and meditation couldn't remove.

It helps to put words on what you are removing. "This is the fear of failure." "This is the disappointment in how things have turned out so far." "This is the anger at ________ for __________." Make a great big pile and then release it, it isn't serving you to hold onto it.

If you ever get stuck, ask yourself how it is helping you to hold onto it. Whatever the answer is, work on healing that, using all of these same methods.

I always complete my session by visualizing truth in the form of brilliant, white light coming into my head and filling all the now empty spaces in my body. It pushes any remaining darkness out and helps me to really let go of whatever I had been holding on to.

Be Accountable for Change
Affirmations, EFT, and Guided Imagery combined with prayer and honest introspection will help to weed out doubts that you are ready to let go of. Using these methods will assist you in your steady progress towards change and healing. As you are changed on the inside, your circumstances will change as well.

Using these methods requires a sense of accountability for your life. It requires having the courage to look deep, to face fears and falsehoods, to leave current comfort zones and move into your dreams. Your consistent visualizations will bring to you these and many other solutions suited specifically to your needs and personality.

So next time you are faced with doubts and fears, rejoice! It's time to pull weeds! Your work will bring beautiful results and you will find yourself once again free of doubt and fear, operating in a vibration of faith!

Pulling Weeds-Part 2

Affirmations
When I find myself in a weed patch of fears and doubts, one of the first things I do is affirmations. Often those feelings of anxiety aren't based in anything serious and might be just as much a result of a bad night's sleep as anything else. So I identify what negative thoughts or feelings are in my head and work on affirming the opposite. These affirmations might be in words or in pictures (visualizations).

For example, if I'm feeling discouraged about not having healthy eating habits, I might affirm, "I care about my body. I enjoy healthy foods most. Even though I didn't eat healthy yesterday, I completely and totally love and accept myself." I strengthen affirmations like this with visualizing healthy foods that I really do love and putting some emotion behind the words.

Most of the time, this step will get me out of my funk and back into a hopeful, grateful vibration. But sometimes it goes deeper than this.

Create Some Quiet, Alone Time
If I have attempted to feel better using brief affirmations without much success, that indicates to me that I may have some weeds to pull.

I try to find 30 minutes or so of quiet alone time. Sometimes it takes a couple of days before I achieve this, but I try to do it as soon as I can. In the meantime, I pay attention to those feelings, I don't dismiss them or bury them, I release them. It's kind of like those feelings are trying to tell me something, and in the back of my mind I'm always listening, trying to understand the message.

When you have found a quiet moment to be alone, lie down and start taking a look at those feelings. Ask yourself questions, and pay close attention to the first thought that comes to you mind in response. Be open to wherever your thoughts may lead you. Here are some starter questions:

• What am I feeling?
• Why am I feeling this way?
• When did this start? or What triggered this?
  
• Are there any memories from my childhood or my past that come to mind when I ponder this feeling and situation?
• What am I afraid of?
• What false beliefs am I subscribing to right now?
• Where in my body is most of this emotion centered? (this may seem like a strange question to those of you who are still learning to be in tune to your body, but you will be surprised at how obvious the answers are when you ask the question...)
• Do I have fears or concerns regarding deserving?
• What is my payoff for holding onto this? or How is it serving me to hold to this, how is it keeping me safe?
  

Try very hard to think only of yourself. Don't allow yourself to place blame or responsibility on anyone else. Do not waste any energy thinking of changes you would like others to make. If other people come into your mind during this process, observe with a sense of detachment your thoughts and feelings regarding them.

Do not berate yourself for anything you are feeling or believing. Treat yourself as you would a beloved 3 year old child who has come to you with deep fears and concerns. Surround yourself with safety and love and faith that you will be able to work through this and with God's help, heal it. Think in terms of learning, understanding, forgiving, releasing, healing. Know that He is by your side in this journey, the Great Physician.

As you ponder the above and other questions, hopefully you will learn some important things about yourself and where you are at in the process of creating what you desire. Try to connect the dots between these feelings, memories, and beliefs and your current circumstances. This is how you can prepare for your gardening.

Pulling Weeds-Part 1

When we begin the process of visualizing to create what we desire in our lives, we will invariably have times when we are plagued with doubts. The question arises, 'what is the best way to handle these doubts?'

We may be tempted to strong arm them back into the little crevices and holes they occupy in our body's and minds. The concern with that approach is that those deepest of beliefs and desires are what create the physical circumstances in our lives. Burying them deeper does not take away their power to influence what we are creating.

In the Book of Mormon, the ancient prophet Alma says,
"...for I know that [God] granteth unto men according to their desire, whether it be unto death or unto life; yea, I know that he allotteth unto men, yea decreeth unto them decrees which are unalterable, according to their wills, whether they be unto salvation or unto destruction. (Alma 29:4)

Often the desires or our heart are the ones we are less aware of, the ones that happen at a subconscious level. If they tend to be unto our destruction more than to our salvation, it's time to explore those deepest of feelings and heal what needs to be healed.

A Step in the Journey We've Begun
Visualizing is a powerful thing. It sets us on the path to what we desire. Any doubts, fears, and unhealthy beliefs that are keeping what we desire from manifesting will rise to the surface once we have started this journey. They are brought to our attention so that we can heal or release them.

In the past those fears and false beliefs have run our lives. Now if we bury or ignore them, we are simply starting the unhealthy cycle again. Instead we can use the opportunity our visualizing has provided and weed them out.

Get to the Root of It
One of my least favorite jobs growing up was weeding the garden. It was hot, grinding, dirty work. Pulling up weeds of doubt and fear can be uncomfortable, too. But as with gardening, the rewards are well worth the effort.

It's tempting when pulling weeds to take the easy way out and just rip the top off. Then everything looks pretty good on the surface. I remember my mom reminding me over and over of the importance of taking the time and the effort to dig around the weed, to twist and turn and hang on right at the bottom so that I'd pull the root up with the weed. Failing to do this just meant more work later on.

Sometimes when I'm working on making a change in my life, I'll wake up one day full of fear and anxiety. I'll doubt myself and feel like I'm crazy for even attempting to create something different. My present results seem to scream at me that it's useless to believe anything will ever be different. At times like this, I start pulling weeds.

There are three main methods that I use: Affirmations, EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique), and Guided Imagery. Theses methods combined with prayer and lots of determination have yielded powerful results in my life.

This has become an exciting process for me because few things bug me as much as knowing there are false beliefs and unhealthy desires buried inside of me working against my true desires. I love it when I am made aware of some and I can start gardening!

Utilizing the Law of Relativity

Understanding the Law
In her book, "Hidden Treasures," Leslie Householder says, "The Law [of relativity] states that nothing we experience is fundamentally good or bad. Bad things that happen to us are only bad relative to something better." (Hidden Treasures, p. 47)

Albert Einstein explains it like this: "When you sit with a nice girl for two hours, you think it's only a minute. But when you sit on a hot stove for a minute, you think it's two hours. That's relativity." (famousquotesandauthors.com)

In other words, so much of how we experience this life depends upon our perception of what we are experiencing in relation to what we are focused on. The inherent power of the law of relativity when used properly, is its propensity to propel us towards our goals, removing barriers that smother our faith, our power.

In our culture of instant gratification, self-entitlement and materialism, we are more likely to use the law of relativity to our detriment than we we are to use it to our betterment. Our tendency is to focus on those whom we perceive to be better off than us and then use that information to make ourselves feel like we've really been given the short end of the stick.

I have found that the law of relativity is primarily mis-used in three ways: looking backwards, looking forwards, and looking sideways.

The danger with each of these behaviors is that our perception of reality becomes distorted, taking us farther away from thinking that is based in truth. We must always be striving to think as closely to God's reality as possible. The more we are able to view reality from His point of view, fully bathed in truth, the more we are able to access the incredible power to create in our own lives that He has made available to us.

• Looking Backwards The bible records that the children of Israel were guilty of looking back with longing to their days as slaves in Egypt. The heading of Chapter 14 in Numbers (LDS King James Version) says, “Israel murmurs and speaks of returning to Egypt.” One wonders how they could possibly wish to return to the circumstances they had once been so eager to leave. Perhaps they were looking at their present circumstances through eyes that did not see blessings and looking at the past through eyes that did not remember challenges.
  

• Looking Forward While having a vision for the future is essential to our progress, we can miss the power of the moment we are in by longing for the future with discontent in our hearts for the present. Embracing the good in the moment we are in will remove barriers we ourselves have placed between our current circumstances and our desires for change in the future. When we picture a future free of challenges while lamenting a present full of challenges and lacking in blessings, we are distorting reality. The longer we perpetuate that kind of thinking, the longer we continue to perceive and create that kind of negative reality.
  

• Looking Sideways We can distort reality when we look at other people’s lives as well, if we focus only on their blessings-ignoring or more likely, being unaware of their challenges. This self-defeating habit is made even worse if we combine it with seeing only the challenges and ignoring the blessings in our own lives.
  

As we fall into the habit of mis-using the law of relativity and our perception of reality becomes skewed, we are plunged into ingratitude. Our faith is drained and our hope is sapped, delaying our ability to receive good things and make the changes we are desiring in our lives, the very changes that tempted us to look backwards, forward, or sideways in the first place.

When we use the law of relativity to make ourselves feel bad, it's like we've stepped off the path towards our goals and are sitting by the side of the road wallowing in the muck. We close our eyes to opportunities, blessings, solutions, knowledge, and many other good things in our path. We've turned our back on the potential for good in our life.

Tapping into the Power of the Law
Again, the power of the law of relativity is that we can use it to get into gratitude and redirect our attention to where we are going and what we need to do to get there.

Getting into gratitude essentially gets us back on track to our goals. Law of attraction teachers would say that it 'puts us in a higher vibration'. What does this 'higher vibration' look like? Our focus is sharpened, we are now open and available to those opportunities, blessings, solutions, knowledge, and any other good that is headed our way. We've opened our arms and our hearts to the potential for good in our lives.

So how do we fully take advantage of the law of relativity?

Remember that the law states that nothing we experience is inherently good or bad. It is only good or bad compared to something else. Our thoughts create our feelings. It's all too easy to be lazy in our thinking.

Our negative reactions to circumstances are guideposts to let us know we've created something we don't want in our lives. The purpose of those feelings is to let us know we need to head in a different direction. They weren't given to us to marinate in.

This is where the law of relativity comes in. If we're feeling stuck in those negative feelings and outlooks, we can look around and become aware of situations that remind us how good ours really is in comparison. This will springboard us into gratitude and productive thinking. We will leave the muck and start making changes.

Don't allow yourself to use the law of relativity to your detriment. It is extremely unproductive. Instead, use it to your advantage. Anytime you feel yourself looking anywhere with envy and discontent, start tapping into the power of this law. You will be amazed at how quickly and powerfully it gets you back on track and opens you up to good.

Princess Stories...for the girls...

This post is for the girls! A few months ago a friend of mine recommended a book so I called the library and put myself on the waiting list. By the time it arrived I had forgotten all about it. I turned the book over to read the back, wondering what it was about. When I got to the part that said something about 'Lucinda looking up from cleaning the floor right into the eyes of the prince,' my heart gave a thrill. A princess story! I love princess stories! I couldn't wait to get home and start it.

We all want to marry a prince!
Why do we love princess stories? I pondered this as I drove home and came to a conclusion. In our hearts, we desire to be provided for, and provided for well. If a girl marries a prince, the implication is that she will never want. She will never have to worry over how to pay the bills, she won't have to leave her children to go to work. She won't have to balance working outside the home with running a home. She will not have the burden of being a provider and this represents a freedom, a lightness, a peace and security that we as wives and mothers long for.

And yet how many of us fill that role?

We're the Fixers
As mothers and wives, sisters and daughters, it comes naturally to us to nurture, to have compassion, and to fix. In fact, we can be so capable that those around us can take for granted all the problems we take care of.

It comes naturally to us to be a strength emotionally to those who depend on us. It comes naturally to us to hold things together during hard times, to set our own needs aside time and again for the survival of the family.

I speak to so many women who are doing just that for their family. They are balancing mothering, wife-ing, community serving, and yes, financially providing. On top of that they are trying to take care of themselves, to eat right and exercise, and grow spiritually. A good friend of mine who has recently started working full time to help ends meet said to me, "This isn't how I wanted my life to be. But I just need to accept it."

What we feel we deserve in our heart of hearts...
If our life have gotten to a point where we feel it isn't what we wanted, we need to consider the possibility that on some level it is what we feel we deserve. My friend is partly right. It's true that accepting and being grateful for where we are at is an extremely powerful part of the formula for creating a life we love. But there's more, and without two other pieces to the puzzle, we are spinning our wheels. We must have a clear vision of what we want and we must feel in our hearts that what we want is what we deserve.

Alma 37:41-42 says, "Nevertheless, because those miracles were worked by small means it did show unto them marvelous works. They were slothful, and forgot to exercise their faith and diligence and then those marvelous works ceased, and they did not progress in their journey; Therefore, they tarried in the wilderness, or did not travel a direct course, and were afflicted with hunger and thirst, because of their transgressions." (italics added)

Don't log out all you tenderhearted women out there. Wait and see where I'm going with this. I promise this is a message of hope and knowledge, not guilt and criticism. We do that enough to ourselves! I know you're thinking, "Yeah, yeah. I need to have more faith. I transgress all the time." And you dig your heels in to get back to work, but doesn't it feel like you just keep on spinning?

What does having more faith mean to you? Does it mean you think and focus and concentrate a little harder? Do you pucker your forehead and tense your muscles and think, 'faith, faith, faith?' What does it mean, anyway???

I think you have lots of faith. But maybe you are tarrying in the wilderness and not traveling a direct course or progressing like you want to. Maybe you are afflicted with hunger and thirst and maybe in this case the transgressions are principles of the law that you aren't living simply because you don't quite understand them yet. But consequences of law occur whether we understand them or not.

I love how that verse says, 'exercise faith.' It's a verb, an action, but again, what is it? I believe it is having a clear vision of what you want and with that vision feeling all of the emotions that go along with hope and love. Yep, faith, hope, and charity.

Do you know what you want? Or only what you don't want?
You are busy, you are amazing, you probably don't even have time to be reading this right now, so here's what I want you to start with: Start creating a vision in your mind of how you would like things to be. Try your hardest not to counteract your vision with doubt and fear and cynicism. A few times a day, when you are driving, right before you fall asleep, in the shower, over lunch, in your prayers, when you are stretching after a walk, just go away to princess land. Picture in your mind how you would like your life to be.

It's so simple, but it's work. Trust that it is work that will bring positive consequences.

If you are in serious frustration and overwhelm, just pick 2 or 3 things to start with. It might go like this: 1-Picture yourself spending quality time with each individual in your family. Feel the feelings of peace and love and gratitude you would feel in that moment. 2-Picture yourself balancing your checkbook and seeing that you had enough and to spare. Again, feel the emotions of gratitude and abundance and humble awe. 3-Picture yourself taking care of yourself. Getting to bed on time, eating healthy, exercising, and feeding your spirit.

Make your visions as real as you can. Those are three great things to start with, but maybe it's different for you. Maybe in each of those visions you can be aware of the tidy organized space around you.

Then leave your vision and get back to life. You are amazing. Look at what you have created so far with your faith, determination, and hard work. You can create this, too. Leave it in God's hands for now, all you need to do right now is be clear on what you want.

Be careful when you finish visualizing and come back to your life that you continue to be grateful for what is. Like my friend said, accept what is in the present. Later in the chapter (v. 46) Alma goes on to say: "O my son, do not let us be slothful because of the easiness of the way; for so was it with our fathers; for so was it prepared for them, that if they would look they might live; even so it is with us. The way is prepared, and if we will look we may live forever."

Could it really be that easy? Could having a vision in our mind of where we want to go really be that powerful of a catalyst to get us there? What else, then, is hope, if not a clear vision of what we want, and a trust that God wants to give it to us?

Establish Hope
At the heart of having hope for the vision we have created is conquering the belief that we don't deserve that life. Here are some things to do to increase your hope, your belief that God does want to bless you with the desires of your heart:

• Go outside and look at the mountains. Or the ocean, or the stars, or a flower. There is a clear message in these creations from God to you. The message is that He has created this for you. He wants you to enjoy his bounty. He wants you to experience the good things in life. It is effortless for you to look up at that mountain and receive the gift of His creation. Allow yourself to receive the blessings He is pouring out on you.

• Remember the example given in the bible of the child who asked his father for bread. Jesus asked if that father would give the child a stone instead. Or would the father give the child a snake when asked for a fish? Of course not. And yet isn't that how we see God sometimes? He wants to give us what we have asked for. We need to live the laws and be willing to receive.

• If you are a parent, think of your own children. If it was lunchtime and your child went to your fridge, opened it, looked at you and tentatively asked, "is it okay if I have a sandwich from this fridge?" What would you feel? Most likely you would laugh at the silliness of the question. "Of course you can have a sandwich. Everything I have is yours. Eat. Take care of yourself. There's plenty." Is it possible that this is how God feels about giving to us, too?

• Use the affirmation, "I deserve to be provided for in abundance." As you say these words, there are a couple of things you need to understand 'behind' the words. First of all it is not an entitled kind of deserving. It is a humble awareness of who you really are and what a child of God deserves simply because of who they are. On the flip side, be aware that there is nothing special or unusual about you. Everyone deserves to be provided for in abundance. Not all of us are manifesting that in our circumstances because we are still learning the laws. We are also in different places as far as what we are allowing ourselves to deserve based on our own beliefs about deserving.

• Here's the clincher: "But I don't think God really wants me to have abundance. Clearly He doesn't, look at my life." That's baloney. Don't believe it. Seriously. Fast, pray, really get in tune. I can almost guarantee that God isn't going to tell you, "For you, no. Sorry. There's not enough for you." The closest you might get to that response is, "You need to learn some things first." But behind those words are, "So, please, get learning them. I'm anxious to bless you. I have work for you to do." We are deceiving ourselves if we think that He's holding out on us. That line of thinking is a cop out. When you do withhold from your children for their own good, how anxiously are you watching for the first sign that you can give them what they want? And it all depends on them. Things are more within the sphere of our agency than we realize.

• Look at what's already good and beautiful in your life. This will help you realize that you do deserve good things, you've already been blessed with them. Try to make a connection in your mind and heart between the good you have already been blessed with and the good you hope to learn to manifest in your life. God wants you to manifest it, too.
  

• Finally girls, be accountable for where you are at. Have you created this because it is what you feel you deserve? Heal that part inside of you, affirm that you deserve to be provided for abundantly. This isn't about your husband and his paycheck, as much as you might have convinced yourself that it is. This is about you and God. How this truth comes to pass in your life is up to God, so tune in. It will be different for each one of you. It will be unexpected how it happens. He is the giver of all good things, but if we've got both hands out blocking the abundance He wishes to bestow on us, we have only ourselves to blame. And that's actually great news because the only person you can change is you.
  

Changing feelings of undeserving can take time. Feeling undeserving can blur our vision of what we really want. The first step is clarifying that vision once more and working on it daily. Trust that even if you can't see immediate results, the steps you are taking now are without a doubt changing your future. Let Him heal you and provide for you.

In the end, it isn't really about the prince. It's about being a princess. It's about knowing what you want and believing that you deserve it. That's what we yearn for and admire in the princess stories. Let yourself be that princess, know that you deserve it, that all of us deserve it! Keep your vision clear and strong and know that you are starting on an amazing, life changing journey.

(Watch for an upcoming post on how not fully understanding the law of agency pushes away what we really want in life!)

Dreams Come True

In spite of whatever disappointments we are currently dealing with, all of us have aspects of our present lives that are a fulfilment of our past hopes and dreams. Those visions in the past are what created the good in our lives today.

Most changes occur in a gradual, sometimes even subtle way and the ones that happen suddenly are often accompanied by a sort of frantic busy-ness. The result is that we tend to miss the opportunity to revel in our dreams come true.

Think about the good things in you life. How do they match up with your past dreams? Is the car that now is just four wheels getting you to and from here and there, something you once anticipated with great excitement? Are the 5 kids that make your life absolute craziness, exactly what you visualized down the road on your wedding day? Is the house of your own-whose repairs you just can't seem to keep up on-something you could hardly wait to acquire back in your apartment dwelling days?

These examples might be off the mark for you, but look back, remember, what dreams are you living?

The supreme irony of each of these examples is the "shiny side" and the "corroded side" of the dream. Back when we were daydreaming about the home of our own, and a yard to barbecue in, we weren't worrying about the upkeep - we were focused on the positive aspects of the dream we were working toward.

We still have that option today. Try this exercise: Ask yourself what in your life is the fulfillment of a dream. Has it happened so gradually that you have grown accustomed to it without appreciating the miracle of it? Or has it come with enough of it's own complications that you have overlooked that it is just what you once wanted?

Take a leap through time from "you-then" to "you-now," the person living in it. Immerse yourself in the delightful pleasure of a dream come true.

An empty-nester might remember being a young mother, so busy with kids everywhere. Did she dream of a day to herself? Now she can enjoy the moment she is in like she would have if that young mother were transported out of the chaos through time to the present.

If you looked forward in college to the day you owned your life and had no more professors to report to, the day you had a real job with a real paycheck-transport that kid with a dream to now. Take a minute in the evening to appreciate not having homework hanging over your head anymore! Remember how badly you once wanted that?

In many aspects of your life, you are living what once was only a dream for you. We think it will be such a thrill when we achieve our dreams, but so much of the time we immediately focus on the next thing that is 'missing' or 'wrong' in our lives, without taking a minute for blissful appreciation.

If a dream were to come true overnight, it might be easier to appreciate the thrill. But most dreams are not that way. Don't miss out on the thrill!

We get to choose what to focus on, and remember that whatever we focus on-we get more of. So if you focus on dreams that have come true in your life, (instead of the ones that haven't) guess what you get? More dreams come true!

Recognizing that the good in our lives is directly connected to our past dreams and visualizations will also motivate us to put energy into visualizing for the future. We will have evidence right in front of us of the power of faith and hope, thus providing us with greater faith and hope.

Remember what the Nephite prophet Alma said, "I have always retained in remembrance [the captivity of our fathers]". (Alma 36:29 and 2) In other words, he remembers where he's been. He remembers that once, long ago, his people dreamed of a freedom he enjoys every day. He keeps in remembrance that he is living that dream.

Also remember that everything is relative. In many aspects of your life, you are living someone else's dream, too. People who aren't yet where you are today, dream of getting to where you are. It is a sobering and humbling thought. Try to see the magic in your life as if you were someone who had just been transported from dreaming about your blessings to living in your blessings.

As you look to the future, don't forget where you've been, or you risk not seeing and appreciating where you are. And loving where you are will help attract in more to love about your life.

Creating in your own reality

When working with the Law of Attraction, it is important to remember that we can only create in our own reality. We can create space for someone else to live into, but that's a topic for another day.

Sometimes in our goal setting, affirming, and visualizing, our thoughts can stray into other people's realities. For example, if we are hoping to find love and romance, we may find our visualizations concentrating on a certain individual calling and asking us out. Or, if we want to make a big sale, our visualization may include us convincing a client to hand us a check.

These are both examples of attempting to control another person's agency. Agency is one of the greatest gifts human beings have been given, and any attempt to interfere with another person's agency will put our own progress towards what we desire on hold.

Make sure that your visualizations include you and only you. If you want to experience love and romance, picture yourself receiving a phone call from an unnamed individual and imagine all the feelings of excitement and twitterpation you can imagine!

If you are already in a relationship and that individual already has a name and a face, then make sure the focus of your thoughts and energy are on you. Picture yourself feeling loved and appreciated. Picture yourself as part of a healthy, affectionate relationship. Picture the places in your heart that feel empty, full.

You will always be pleasantly surprised at how the details get filled in. There is no need for you to anticipate and attempt to orchestrate the roles others will play in bringing you what you desire.

Don't let your energy stray into trying to force an outcome from someone else. It's a waste of energy and translates into ingratitude for what's already there.

If you are visualizing making a sale, picture looking at the check, seeing the numbers, feeling the gratitude. Picture filling the order, sending it out, even calling a friend and sharing the great news. The more wholly focused the visualization is on yourself, the more powerful it will be.

Another aspect that sometimes sneaks into our visualizations is an audience. When you picture yourself in that new car, are there people on the side, admiring your good fortune? Sometimes we don't even realize they are there! Paying attention to details like that in your visualizations will help you to discern your motives.

Working towards something because you hope to earn the admiration or respect of others, is at it's root, an attempt to create in someone else's reality. Whenever that happens, remind yourself, "I cannot control what others think about me, or how they feel about me, or how they see me."

Sometimes in our visualizations the 'audience' is looking at us with disapproval. Perhaps we have fears about reaching certain goals because we worry about others seeing us in negative ways. Again, remind yourself: "I cannot control what others think about me, or how they feel about me, or how they see me." And let it go. This is between you and God.

Overwhelmed?

Shortly after I learned about the principle of focusing on what we want, I found an unexpected way to apply what I had learned. It had been one of those frantic days-I was rushing from picking kids up from school, to the store, to ballet, and back home again. Then I was hollering at my son to change into soccer clothes while throwing something together to feed them so we could rush off late to soccer games. (I won't even get into the drama of mismatched soccer socks!)

I arrived at the game late, running with a baby on one hip and an overflowing bag and soccer chair on the other. I sat down with a whoosh and started giving my baby her dinner while making phone calls on my cell phone, trying to take care of some unfinished tasks. Sound familiar?

When I walked back into my house that night, I was tempted to collapse on the couch and do a major overwhelm. The counter was covered in groceries, homework still needed to be done, and it all seemed impossible. Granted, it had been a busy day, and I had every right to give up and call it a day. Turn the TV on, check out, whatever. But really, that wasn't what I wanted.

So, instead of collapsing on the couch, I took a deep breath, closed my eyes, and started to picture what I really wanted. I visualized clear counters, homework done, putting my kids to bed in a house of order, taking a few calm minutes with each child before they went to sleep, and finally turning lights off and getting to bed early myself.

The first thing that happened was that I felt energized. It was like the feelings of being overwhelmed, hopeless, and frustrated slipped out of my body and slinked away. I had hope again. It's amazing where you can go when you have hope!

Then next thing that happened was that solutions began to occur to me that had been invisible just moments before. I got to work on those solutions.

The last thing that happened was that I was able to enlist the help and cooperation of my family with my positive, solution oriented energy and things came together quickly after that. Had I attempted the same with my family before my energy changed, I would have encountered more resistance.

That night I went to bed on time with a clean house and a peaceful feeling in my heart and in my home. I had spent quality time with my kids and had received what I had hoped for: peace and order.

When we give in to the overwhelm, things tend to spiral out of control, farther and farther from what we really want. Our frustration and feelings of helplessness increase.

Now when I start to feel tempted to 'do an overwhelm', I stop, close my eyes, and change my focus from what's wrong to what I want. Everything doesn't always match my vision exactly, but I consistently feel hopeful and energized instead of overwhelmed.

Solutions I might be blocking with the negative feelings, are free to present themselves, and in the end I feel peaceful regardless of how the circumstances turn out.

Be Ye Therefore Content

One of the best pieces of advice I ever received came from my little brother who was 18 years old at the time. The movie "The Secret" had just come out. I had been studying the concepts taught in "The Secret" for many years, but my little brother sat down and watched the movie and from the first viewing had an intuitive grasp of the law of attraction. From that point on he became my teacher.

One day we were discussing gratitude and contentment and he said, "In order to attract in being content, you have to be content."

Do you see the irony in that statement of truth? As we work on creating a clear vision of where we want to go, it is powerful to be able to look at the way things are and feel on every level that if things never changed, we are content, and we will continue to be content.

And yet there is a concept sometimes referred to as "divine discontent." The divine in us is always seeking to improve our situation, to progress. Neal A. Maxwell said that we "...experience divine discontent because of progression mixed with procrastination."

We can use divine discontent to motivate and propel us forward. We just need to be careful not to allow that divine discontent to morph into ingratitude, which is all too easy to do!

What is the difference then, between divine discontent and ingratitude?

Joseph B. Wirthlin said, "Our minds have a marvelous capacity to notice the unusual. However, the opposite is true as well: The more often we see things around us-even the beautiful and wonderful things-the more they become invisible to us...Because we see things so often, we see them less and less."

Ingratitude then, encompasses not seeing the good that is already in our life. It often includes a sense of entitlement, a feeling of being shortchanged. With ingratitude we usually find ourselves comparing our situation to that of others and we come away with a feeling of envy. Underneath it all is usually a deep feeling of not being enough.

As we look a little more closely at our lack of gratitude, we may also find fear, discouragement, even despair. A feeling of hopelessness and a desperate desire to grasp for things we don't feel we deserve may also accompany these feelings of ingratitude and discontent.

Divine discontent, on the other hand, is a curious mix of peace and desire for movement. There is hope that the changes we desire will come to pass. There is clear vision of how we want things to be, rather than a focus on what we don't want.

Divine discontent is accompanied by a feeling of connection to our creator, a humble belief in, and understanding of our own potential and worth.

We have a feeling of contribution, a desire to improve others lives as well as our own. We often recognize being guided by a purpose higher than our own. This purpose gives us drive and energy, a sharp contrast to the discouragement and hopelessness that stems from ingratitude.

When I first started utilizing the powerful technique of visualization, one of the challenges I encountered was that at the end of each visualization session, I would open my eyes, look around, and see what was different or lacking in my current reality. The immediate response to that was a feeling of disappointment and ingratitude for the way things were.

I recognized that these negative feelings and emotions would not get me where I wanted to go, so I made some changes to the end of my sessions. When I opened my eyes, I would look around, intent on finding things I was grateful for in my current situation.

If I was visualizing a storage room full of food storage, I would focus on the shelves that were already full and rejoice. If I was visualizing new carpet, I would notice the beautiful paint on the walls and how that added to the beauty of my home.

Paul advises Timothy: "And having food and raiment let us be therewith content." (1 Timothy 6:8). This can be a guideline to us as we strive to improve our lives. We will always be creating, we will always be progressing. And while we are in this process, we can be content with the way things are, knowing that our choice to be content will only bring us more to be grateful for.